Success Secret 1:
If You Want To Be Successful Have Forgiveness In Your Heart
Successful people don't waste precious energy holding grudges and plotting revenge.
|“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”|
- Catherine Ponder
Forgiving is simply the act of releasing feelings of resentment, anger, bitterness or hatred towards someone you believe has done you wrong.
When you truly forgive you are free from the shackles that tie you inexorably to the offender and you are free to move forward with your life instead of being trapped in the past.
- forgiving someone does not require you to reconcile or have any relationship with the offender whatsoever.
- the offender does not need to apologise in order for you forgive because forgiving them is for your benefit, not theirs.
- negative emotions such as anger, bitterness, resentment and hatred increases your risk of contracting severe health problems such as cancer, high blood pressure and heart disease.
- if the offender were to apologise you don't have to accept their apology. How they deal with their guilt (or lack of) is not your concern.
6 Reasons To Forgive
- The negative emotions you feel don't affect the offender in the slightest.
He/she most likely has moved on with his/her live and doesn't give you a second thought.
- The best revenge is to live a happy life.
If the offender did indeed deliberately set out to destroy you wallowing in negative emotions means they succeeded. Don't give them that satisfaction.
- Understand the offender has helped you grow.
OK, may be you wouldn't have chosen that particular lesson but don't let the offender win by letting evil overshadow good.
- Look at how you can use the experience.
You could use this experience to help others in some way. Perhaps you could teach coping mechanisms to others who have been through similar situations or even teach others how to avoid becoming victims themselves.
- There are good people that surround you.
They don't need to pay the price for what someone else has done to you. Forgiveness frees your loved ones as well as yourself.
- Put yourself in the offenders shoes.
Maybe they just didn't know any better.... Perhaps they did the best they could given their knowledge and background. Would they do better now that they know better? Would you have done any different in the same circumstances?
Not Forgiving Destroys Lives
We've all heard stories similar to these:
- of the sexually abused child who adulthood finds it impossible to trust anyone enough to start a loving relationship.
- of the guy who was cheated on in a past relationship who now obsessively checks his girlfriends mobile phone, emails and Facebook to make sure she's not cheating. It won't be long before that relationship will bust up to allow a new one to start with the same dysfunction.
- of the person who lost thousands in a property scam destroying any chance of securing their financial future by condemning all property investment schemes as scams.
We learn from stories like this that to live life happy now we must be moving forward. Being stuck in the past in our own personal ground hog day is resistance and stops the flow of abundance, prosperity and success that would otherwise flow to us.
Forgiving is one way we can release the past to step forward into a bigger, better, brighter future.
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